Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
