I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
