I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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