erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
