Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
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Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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