...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
