you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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