hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
