y did u give ur computer a hand job?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
