I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
this boner is exhausting
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
