I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
