at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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