I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
