you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
