But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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