There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize