I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
