Ambien. No doubt about it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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