just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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