Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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