There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
