Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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