Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
