glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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