idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
