She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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