Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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