where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
