Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
