So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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