They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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