he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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