i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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