My friends, they love my intelligence
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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