I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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