I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
