Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
