i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The Olympian is in my bed
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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