The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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