either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
