She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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