Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My cat gives me a boner
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
