Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize