Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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