TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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