Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
