I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
