think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
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My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
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And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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