If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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