no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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