420 ftw
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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