dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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