can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Holy shit dude........stairs
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