Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
