More tranny stories later!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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