then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
