Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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