Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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