I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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