She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
