Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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