My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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